Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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