She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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