he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
