how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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