we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
