WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
