I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
