The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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