how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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