I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
