i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
