Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
