nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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