Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let's get the cat blown out
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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