I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
