hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
