Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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