There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
