take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Houston, we have a squirter
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
