Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
