I bet he comes in French.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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