Betty ford says i'm here all night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
