Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
