Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
These tits shall not be calmed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
