My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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