I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
