I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
