I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
