Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
