Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
