he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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