People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
