my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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