dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
