Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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