when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
