I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
