matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"it" just moved
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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