How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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