woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sober January is a disaster.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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