So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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