can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
