It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The feeling are messing with the penis
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
