i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
