Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
