its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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