What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
