Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
