Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
