I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
