I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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