I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
