found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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